Don't read this. I'm serious. Don't. It will waste at least 2 minutes of your life. I promise.

1 month later.

*deep breath*

This post is not intelligent.  It has no point.  It's not a conservative rambling. It is rather a small implosion related to my sanity slowly leaking down the toilet. In fact, I will probably end up deleting it.

I think it deserves a nursing diagnosis, which may I add, are the DUMBEST invention I have EVER encountered in my 21 years of life.

"Altered mental status related to nursing school secondary to copious amounts of ridiculously pointless work for ridiculously long amounts of time as evidenced by a completely pointless blog posting one month after the last."

There. Doesn't that just make it so much clearer. Wait? No? It doesn't? You're confused? Oh. I must have forgotten that nursing diagnosis can only be read by nurses and are only used by nurses. In nursing school.  And they wonder why I have no motivation to come up with a fancy way to say this man is constipated.

"Constipation related to lack of activity secondary to open reduction internal fixation of posterior fracture of the right acetabulum as evidence by lack of bowel movement within 3 days."

Eureka.

This past month, has been hell, if I may be so bold to say.  Nursing school, is NOT my best friend, nor is it collectively contributing to my sanity, rather it is taking it away with alarming fervor.  Why am I writing like this? Because I can. Damn it.  I just wrote a 50 page paper on something that is completely unrelated to the profession of nursing, and I think I deserve to write however the heck I want.  And you know what?  I just decided that the rest of this isn't going to make a damn bit of sense.

Facebook.

I've not reactivated it, but twice, for no longer than 10 minutes.  And you know what? I have been no more productive than when I had it...well okay maybe a little more productive.  Just from the stand point that I kept getting the urge to look at it.  Instead, I started looking at the Drudge Report literally every 5 minutes and reading either Hack's blog, or someone else's , who if they looked at their stats, would probably think I lived on their website.  Well that's because blogger replaced Facebook. Two weeks later I finally stopped looking at blogger and instead took to running away from things.  Literally. ANYWAY.

May I point out something obvious.  When a student is given 12 hours to finish paperwork that includes a write up of intricate pathophysiology, a medication write up for approximately 20 medications, a nursing care plan, diagnosis, list of interventions/assessments, past medical history, laboratory values (including the reason why the values are or are not normal), for TWO patients, I would assume you would realize that some people would end up losing some sleep.  No, instead, they expect that you get a full nights sleep, and then you get punished, with more paperwork, if you do not.  Because that makes sense.

Also. Women. Oh dear women. Stop being fake. You're driving me up the freaking wall.  When you go to take your make up off at night, and you have to use a chisel, or a shovel to do so, there's a problem.  Also, if you tan one more time, I think your skin will probably match my leather car seats.  Not color. Texture.   I asked one of these the other day if she liked taxidermy.  Expecting to hear "eeww no" I was somehow shocked to hear "what's taxidermy."  Why did this surprise me? I dunno. I really don't. Also, may I point out that you need get a hold of that massive ball of emotions and stop being so stupid.  When a man rejects you in a bar, that does not mean you go buy him a drink and try to make up for the fact you just got rejected.  You do know that's exactly how they play you.  Oh wait, you don't. My bad. Well. Now you do. Please, reflect on yourself, get some self worth/confidence, which would be plainly evident if you would stop spending all your spare time IN the bar.

Men, don't even get me started with you guys. In fact. I'll just leave that one alone.

I would also like to say that honestly, I wouldn't cry if some sort of plague hit all of those "occupy."  They are absolutely barbaric and nothing short of selfish snobs in the disguise of being homeless.  I want to slap every single one of them into last week.

Another thing.  If you come to the ER, I would just like to let you know, sir, that you should not have anything planned for your morning.  No, we will not get you out of here by 10am to go to your appointment.  If you're able to go to your appointment after being in the Emergency Room, you shouldn't have been there to begin with.  Also, if you come in asking for a pregnancy test one more time I'm going to flip a shiznit.  I don't even know what that is. But I'm going to flip one.  

While I'm at it, drive the freaking speed limit. If you pull out in front of me and drive 5 miles under the speed limit I will rear end you so hard your spare tire is in your front seat.  And if you have a freaking corvette, DRIVE LIKE IT. I want to see those horses RUN.  I don't want to drive past them at 35 miles an hour. 

One more thing. Treat your nurse nicely, she controls what route you are to receive your medication.

I need a drink. Go Cardinals.